Owen Wilson’s Nose…like Riker’s Beard…

Owen Wilson's Nose

Much like “Ryker’s Beard” or “Jumping the Shark” (time to go to urban dictionary if you don’t know what either of these are, but I have faith that you do know), I have decided there is place for a new expression based on Owen Wilsion’s nose.

Think back fair reader to the year 2001, dearest Mr Wilson was still not quite the star he is today, in truth I think he was still trying to find his feet in the grand scheme of Hollywood, which is why an actor better know for his comedy roles chose to be in the loosely based on real events “Behind Enemy Lines” with Gene Hackman amongst others.

What has this got to do with Owen Wilson’s nose? I’m getting to it don’t worry…

I had seen Mr Wilson in several films by this point (Zoolander and Meet the Parents to name a few) yet I had never noticed quite how much of a mess the aforementioned schnozzle was, perhaps I wasn’t really paying attention, I don’t know, but I hadn’t. Give yourself a moment to say “HOW THE HELL DID YOU MISS IT!?!?!” done? Good.

I had planned to see Behind Enemy Lines at the local cinema with my then girlfriend at the weekend, it was a quite Wednesday evening and “Film 2001” was on, and this was just after the hand over from Barry Norman to Jonathan Ross and I found myself tuning most weeks, this week was no exception. The new releases part of the show came around and Wossy did a brief review of Behind Enemy Lines. I don’t remember exactly what he said about, but there was one thing that helps build my point…

“…There are an awful lot of close up scenes in the movie, which makes it difficult to ignore Wilson’s distinctly malformed nose, being nearly 10 feet tall…”

To this point I had never noticed his nose before, as I said, but I went not the cinema date as planned and I spent nearly 2 hours of my life thinking,

“Jesus, would you look how messed up the guy’s nose is!”

I don’t remember anything else about the movie, honestly, nothing. Giant Owen Wilson broken nose is all I’ve got!

And now…….the point!

My offering into the annuls of pop culture is this:

Owen Wilson’s nose (definition)

The moment when you realise something that should be glaringly obvious, yet somehow you have missed it up until that moment in time and it is now all you can possibly concentrate on.

In conversation:

M: “Did you see The New Batman Movie?”

C: “Yes, but I had a right Owen Wilson’s nose moment over Christian Bale’s voice.”

Is this ever going to catch on? Probably not, but I’m sharing it anyway.

30. July 2012 by Michael Partridge
Categories: General, Personal | Leave a comment

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